CAUSES OF INSECURITIES IN RELATIONSHIPS AND DEALING WITH INSECURITIES.

in life there’s always cause and effect and so in relationship, nothing ever happen without a cause when partner’s have doubt about the others level of commitment it creates tension ; which properly not managed can lead to frustration resentment or abuse. Insecurities in relationships often stem from such doubts.

A partner may have concerns, questions or doubts about the others appearance, relationship with others, nature of work and so on , and how this negatively affect or creates problems in relationships. Like most problems , finding the solution is primarily rooted in the cause of understanding our partners insecurities and how we can execute this while putting it to rest where it’s supposed to be.

They are majorly three basic sources of insecurities , this are:

-low self esteem
-past hurt
-our own character and judgement

1. LOW SELF ESTEEM

80 percent of times, our insecurities comes from low self confidence , here we often fear, which later leads to false assumption that our partners is out there looking for someone else that has attributes( for instance petite or thick, tall or short , nice boobs, skin color, blonde or dark hair, rich or smart enough) we feel we lack ourselves. In relationships, self-esteem is a huge factor contributing to insecurity because there’s anxiety from feeling less deserving of our partners because we Sense we don’t matchup their needs and desires, there’s this fear we will be abandoned if they find someone better.

2. PAST HURT

Some of our insecurities come from past experiences in relationships which creates scars that leaves one unsure or always on a lookout.

If our partners exhibit a character or act in a way that is consistent with past experiences, we immediately feel triggered because we struggle to isolate each situation. For instance, if we had an ex that her dressing changed immediately she started cheating, seeing this change in our partner’s style might just trigger us, even when they’re being genuine. These past hurts deeply root insecurities in relationships.

3. PERSONAL CHARACTER AND JUDGEMENTS.

Many times our own insecurities come from projecting our own character flaws on our partners.

We are suspicious of them because we lack integrity ourselves. For instance, if we say, “I’m going out with friends” anytime we’re out to cheat, we’ll subconsciously get restless and suspicious of our partner every time they say the same thing. We think they are living a page from our own book of unfaithfulness, contributing to insecurities in our relationships.

Having mentioned the sources of insecurities,

WAYS TO SOLVE INSECURITIES PROBLEMS IN RELATIONSHIPS.

Let’s talk about ways to remedy this problem. Since our discussion has shown that most of our insecurities are just a mere mirage, they aren’t real; it’s important to replace these fears with healthy and rewarding habits, self-love, trust, uncomfortable conversations, and boundaries.

SELF LOVE

when we love ourselves it will show in our level of self confidence. When we are confident in how we look in our own skin,we wouldn’t feel threatened by our partners appearance , association with others or be intimidated when they’re being successful in their lives. Insecurities in relationships decrease significantly when self-love is practiced regularly.

TRUST

When we trust that our partners intentions are genuine,it reduces the fear and anxiety of abandonment , we total rely and have confidence that their actions are from good place and will always be towards the betterment of the relationship.

UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS.

There is always a strong need for people in relationships to have deep uncomfortable conversations, ask questions etc, as to have an idea of each others perspective about relationships and building it.

BOUNDARIES

As people in relationships, there should be a need to place certain limits on how we interact with others.

CONCLUSION

If both partners can’t find a way to fix the issue of insecurities, it is best they both part ways. Because staying in that relationship of insecurities will always lead to restlessness, unhappiness and regrets.