10 Rules of Masculinity: How to Become a High-Value Man

In recent times, masculinity is seen as a primitive and savage trait that must be restrained. Men have their masculinity shamed out of them, and boys have it killed off in them from the very start.  

We now even hear things like “toxic masculinity” — a term that pretends to define a particular aspect of masculinity but which, in the real sense, is a deliberate and well-calculated attempt to shame and stereotype masculinity in its entirety. 

In the wake of these ugly developments, many are beginning to lose sight of masculinity and what it is truly about. They now view it through broken lenses.  

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably noticed this slow degradation of manhood and (like most men) aren’t sure how to go about things or how to improve your masculinity. 

Well, all hope is not lost. 

In this article, we will go through 10 masculinity rules every man should abide by to be more masculine comfortably and have more to offer as a man.  

Come with me.  

1. Find your purpose

Your key roles as a man in your family and relationships is to lead, provide, establish order and guide. But to truly thrive in these roles, you must have a clear sense of direction in your own life and know what you genuinely want. A man can only be a master to others if he is master to himself first.  

Without self-awareness, your relationships with others may struggle, as you won’t fully understand yourself or your expectations of others. This lack of clarity can hinder the kinetics of any relationships, leaving you feeling unfulfilled. Besides, no one is attracted to indecision or uncertainty, and no one will anyone respect a man who is perceived this way.  

To pursue greatness and happiness, you need a defined goal. Journeying through life without a vision can leave you feeling lost and unmotivated. You must stand like a man and decide for yourself what you truly want out of life. You must be intentional and proactive about it. If you’re constantly conforming to what society, family, or partners dictate about masculinity, you will never evolve into the man you aspire to be. 

People look to strong leaders for inspiration, and without a sense of purpose, it’s difficult for anyone to admire you. The truth is, you alone hold the key to becoming your best self. 

What to do? 

Start by exploring your passions and interests. Understand what resonates with you, and embrace the vision of the man you want to become, free from the constraints of others’ judgements.  

Take the time to reflect on what you truly want from life and outline the specific steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Be honest with yourself and steer clear of fleeting desires. 

The more you clarify your desires, the more effectively you can set boundaries and standards that reflect your true self. 

Only after establishing clear, meaningful purposes will you find deeper satisfaction in your masculinity and how you carry yourself in the world. There’s no other route to becoming a high-value man than this. 

2. Stand up for yourself 

Being masculine doesn’t mean you have to be loud or battle-ready whenever your values are challenged. 

It’s important to defend your principles and those you care about, but do so with intention. Engaging with negativity often isn’t worth your time, especially from those who don’t deserve your energy. 

True self-respect comes from a strong belief in yourself, allowing you to command respect without compromising your safety or integrity. 

But. 

If you constantly conform to others’ expectations just for peace to reign, you risk being overlooked and undervalued. While disagreeing with others might not win you any awards, being comfortable with conflict is essential for achieving your own goals. 

Many men today are overly cautious about how their actions will be perceived. They often hesitate to go after what they truly want because they fear judgment. These men frequently avoid taking responsibility for their lives, opting to let others take the reins. This leads to a life of pain and discontent, all in the name of fitting in. 

You don’t have to follow that path. 

You don’t need to play it safe or be the nice guy who gets constantly trampled on, just to gain approval. After all, you have only one life to live, so why not be authentic and pursue what truly matters to you? 

Sometimes, it’s necessary to stir the pot. Embrace that opportunity to challenge the status quo or change the narrative. 

3. Take initiative

Weak men hesitate and wait for opportunities to come to them. They seek approval from others and fear rejection, leading to passivity in pursuing their goals. 

This reactive mindset explains why many struggle financially or end up in the friend zone, hoping the person they like will notice them. Instead, they watch painfully as others take action and crush their goals or win their crush’s attention. 

Many men find themselves in unwanted commitments or stuck in unfulfilling jobs because they don’t assert their needs or desires. When you adopt a reactive approach, it’s easy to blame others for your dissatisfaction. 

Don’t be like these men.  

To become masculine and fulfilled, you must embrace a proactive mindset. Men are naturally wired to pursue and build. You need to take action to create opportunities or initiate relationships. 

If you want a better lifestyle, start a side hustle or engage in meaningful social circles. Good things come to those who actively seek them. Fortune, they say, favours the brave.  

“Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door be opened onto you.”  

Remember? 

No one will hand you what you want. You must work toward your goals or risk living with regret — the choice is yours. 

4. Embrace an active lifestyle  

It is said that like attracts like. To attract quality people for business, friendship, or romance, you must first embody the traits of a high-value man. 

Crafting a lifestyle that reflects your goals and the kind of people you wish to connect with is vital. Keep in mind that your habits and routines are constantly observed, and like-minded individuals will be drawn to your choices. If your life consists of mundane routines, you’ll struggle to build an attractive lifestyle that draws in high achievers and meaningful relationships. 

Consider: who do you find more inspiring — a man who spends his evenings idly at home or one who pursues side projects and social connections? Which type of man creates rich experiences and compelling stories? 

To be a high-value man, you must be meticulously intentional about your circle. A certain theory propounds that a person becomes a sum-reflection of the five people they spend the most time with. 

Thankfully, you don’t necessarily need wealth to create a fulfilling life; a positive mindset and intentional choices matter more. High-value men design their lives around what makes them happy, engaging in activities that yield positive results and spark curiosity in others. 

Evaluate how you spend your time. Are you merely passing the hours, or are you pursuing meaningful activities? 

It’s weekend? Awesome! Kit up and go to any big spots in town where high-value people usually hang out. Buy a drink, engage in quality conversations or participate in activities that they are part of. Mingle with intention, and try to establish lasting positive impressions. The plan is to break into that circle (and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that). Value begets value.  

If you want to rise above the average, take action to cultivate a vibrant lifestyle. 

5. Build confidence 

Confidence is essential to masculinity and being a high-value man. 

Many men see confidence as an elusive trait — either hard to obtain or a natural gift some possess. While some people radiate confidence in any situation, others cultivate it through consistent effort across various areas of life. 

If you lack confidence, it may seem like a foreign concept. However, developing self-assurance, especially in unfamiliar situations, starts with courage. 

Courage differs from confidence: it involves facing challenges despite uncertainty and fear. It’s the act of stepping forward, even when you’re unsure of the outcome. As you confront challenges and achieve small successes, your confidence grows. It’s similar to babies learning to walk. They continually take small short steps, each successive effort  less wobbly and more confident than the previous. Eventually they begin to walk. It’s all in the efforts. 

If you struggle to approach women know that it’s a common and temporary feeling. The key is to act despite your fears — practice makes perfect. Each attempt, even if awkward, builds your experience and skills. 

This principle applies to all areas of personal growth. The more you engage and take risks, the more confident you’ll become. 

Next time you’re in doubt or find yourself questioning your confidence, remember the Nike slogan: “Just do it!” 

6. Maintain high standards   

The respect you receive from others is determined by the standards you set for yourself. 

If you have low expectations in your relationships, friendships, and career, don’t be surprised by the minimal rewards. Being content with mediocrity leads to being treated accordingly.  

Curiously, many men would usually have high standards and expectations from their careers and most other areas of their lives, but compromise in their love lives. All too often — VERY OFTEN — we see even high profile men (rich, successful, highly educated, handsome, etc.) in romantic relationships with women who (I’m sorry to say) are way, way below their level — something women almost never do.  

Many men justify their low standards with excuses and avoid accountability, resulting in passionless relationships and toxic friendships. They may end up in unfulfilling jobs while dreaming of better opportunities, all because they lack ambition for themselves. 

To be taken seriously, you must embody the standards you expect from others. Once you establish high expectations, people will respond differently and better. When you value your time and energy, others will either meet your standards or move on. 

If you want fulfilling romantic relationships, act as a high-value man, indicating to your love interests that you are not to be taken lightly. In the same way, if you want more a rewarding experience in your career, you must set high standards for yourself and put in the work.  

Remember, high standards lead to higher value. 

7. Earn freedom via discipline

Without discipline in your life, consistency becomes elusive. And without consistency, progress is unattainable. 

When progress is absent, all that remains are weakness, excuses, dissatisfaction, and negative feelings. 

Many individuals depend on motivation to elevate their lives in various areas. They wait for external affirmations to inspire them into action and to keep going. The issue with this approach is that motivation isn’t a reliable driver of progress. It’s fleeting. This reliance explains why there are so many average people and so few exceptional ones. 

While motivation can feel uplifting, it lacks the sustainability needed to achieve a thriving business, a fit physique, or attractive partners. Achieving any of these requires skill, dedication, and most importantly, CONSISTENCY — that discipline to continue “doing what you hate to do but doing it like you love it (because it’s necessary),” as Mike Tyson puts it. 

To embody a more masculine and capable version of yourself, it’s crucial to foster discipline in your daily routines and practices. This involves taking action without waiting for uplifting emotions or external influences; you must push through even when your motivation wanes. 

8. Embrace responsibility  

The key difference between confident individuals and those lacking assertiveness is how they acknowledge their actions and their consequences. 

Many avoid taking responsibility for their failures, quickly making excuses that deflect blame and hinder progress towards their goals. They want to start a new side project but feel too busy. They wish to improve their dating skills but assume women only care about money and looks. They desire to achieve an ideal physical but just want to relax after work. 

Those who evade responsibility always find external reasons for their inaction — be it a boss, a partner, or past experiences. They never get anything done.  

Alternatively, when you accept accountability for your circumstances, you begin to seek ways to change your environment. This commitment not only enhances your masculinity but also fosters personal growth. 

What’s more? 

Assuming responsibility makes other people see you as…RESPONSIBLE. And you never can tell who’s watching. How you handle small things can reflect how you handle bigger projects, and there are kingmakers out there willing to commit greater opportunities to your care.  

Ask Joseph! 

9. Continuous self-improvement 

Being a high-value man means being able to provide value. To be able to reach this level or continue to remain relevant, a man must continue to develop and equip himself.  

Improving yourself as a man makes you better able to deal with the challenges of life. It equips you with the vitals skills, experiences and attitudes to also be able to help others and contribute to society. 

What can you do? 

Practice self-improvement, explore opportunities for growth, and avail yourself to responsibilities that improve character. Read books, learn new skills, and engage in meaningful activities that expand your mind and capabilities. Set goals (micro and macro, short- and long-term), and follow through, making sure to stretch your limits with each new and upgraded engagements.  

Life is complicated and uncertain. But an equipped man with a prepared mind will have it easier than an average person. 

10. Invest in your physical looks 

So far, most of the self-development points we’ve gone through are mental. They are inner-game perspectives and habits that you can work on to be a better or more masculine man. 

But becoming a more masculine or higher-value man encompasses more. It should include as much of the mindset as the physical. I will explain.  

To be able to provide value or present a more masculine frame, a man needs to consider improving his physical features. This also gives him the extra push in confidence that is so vital to being a man.  

Do you consider yourself unattractive, unfashionable, or broke? True, genetics or life circumstances can play a role in our looking attractive and masculine (or less so), but there are always small changes that one can make to add extra points to one’s desirability value in the dating market. It’s a shame that even though these improvements are often literally within reach, most men would either put their trust on money to do the work for them or simply feel too lazy to do anything. As a result, they go through life without ever getting to experience their full potential in the looks department. 

Sad. 

Make the effort to improve your physical looks for a more masculine look and presence. It will pay off in business and in your romantic life. Spend some money on fashion and fitness. Replace those baggy trousers with fitted ones and those big shirts with ones that fit perfectly to show off your manly build. Hit the gym to knock that belly in. 

Micro physical changes like these will make you look, feel, and be more masculine. They are an investment for the future when you go out there to connect with high-value men and when you’re on dates with gorgeous women. 

Final thoughts

Masculinity is a beautiful thing. It is about a man becoming his best for both himself and society, and, as such, must be encouraged. 

After all.  

It’s how humanity has managed to survive the long harsh years from the prehistoric ages through to the modern day. Masculine virtues like courage, proactivity, responsibility, leadership, ambition, adventurous spirits, etc., allowed the human species to survive harsh weather conditions, manage wild beasts, improve barbaric civilizations, and make science & tech advances that have brought us to this point. 

It has served so well, and as such does not only deserve its due recognition but must also be encouraged. 

Keep in mind, though, that to practice and maintain all the manly points and qualities discussed above isn’t easy. Especially in a world where being a masculine man is seen as a threat and is faced with a pushback. In a world where there are fewer and fewer masculine men. In a world where masculinity is progressively becoming a lost virtue.  

In such a world, the purpose of your mission and development — your big “WHY” has to be strong enough to override all the doubts, excuses and blames that will come from you and others.  

You’re solely responsible for becoming that higher-value man you look up to. No one else cares enough. So to take this development seriously, you need to keep your self-belief and discipline high.  

Believe and practice.