If you’ve been on the internet in recent times, chances are you’ve heard the words “high-value man”. There’s so much buzz around the term, much like the concept of male personality types.  

But who is a high-value man and what does he look like? That is the focus of this article. 

A high-value man is an idealized concept of a man who possesses a balanced combination of several positive key traits and characteristics that are rare to find in majority of men. He is a man of purpose, discipline and integrity, who is admired and respected by many. He is a confident man, self-sufficient individual and natural leader who helps and supports others to be stand on their own and be the best version of themselves. And the list goes on. 

But. 

He is not a perfect man or a saint. Neither does he claim or pretend to be. He is as vulnerable as everyone else. But unlike most people, he is in tune with his authentic self, and knows how to use his strengths and weaknesses to his advantage. 

Let’s stop here for now.  

Can you already think of a man in your life or anywhere else who fits this image? It might be your dad, your uncle, your mentor, a movie star, or some public figure — essentially a man whom you hold in very high regard and who clearly is different from other men in all the positive ways you can think of. That’s the man we’re talking about today.  

In the list below, we go through some of the top 10 traits of a high-value man. Let’s get started. 

 

1. Self-respect  

The first and foremost quality of a high-value man is self-respect. It’s pointless trying to be a high-value man if you lack any respect for or awareness of self. In clear and simple terms, it is the quality of valuing and respecting yourself in a balanced and healthy way.  

But this is not always easy. The male gender is not taught to appreciate self enough. And growing up, experiences for most men make this even more complicated. Going through the rigours of life, a man will often find himself in compromising situations that threaten his honour and self-respect. This is often common in situations that involve money. For example, he might be faced with a circumstance where he has to choose between securing the bag in a dirty or dishonest way OR walking away. It might also be a context where he has to accept humiliation for, say, something that isn’t really worth it or that puts his basic human rights and beliefs under threat. This can get discouraging and demoralizing. But the ability to maintain composure and self-esteem is a critical trait needed to improve one’s life. 

Self-respect is a vital must-have in a man’s life because it moulds the rest of his existence. Because he loves himself and has a strong sense of self, he is able to set up and abide by certain guiding principles and to establish strong boundaries for himself. For instance, a man with self-respect is not going to get drunk on the weekends, wake up late for work, or procrastinate business responsibilities. He is dedicated to his craft, committed to his purpose, and motivated on his journey of self-improvement. He is also intentional about his interactions with other people and clear on what he expects from them. In other words, he treats them how he wants to be treated — RESPECTFULLY.  

Practice self-love to maintain self-respect. Be your own best pal and truly cherish who you are as a man. The results cannot be overemphasized. 

 

2. Purpose and ambition  

There’s nothing more unattractive on nature’s green earth as a man with no idea where he’s headed and insensate himself with material things and superficial pleasures of life. Nobody likes a man without vision. But there’s everything to love about a man who has defined life goals and shows evidence of working hard towards achieving them will be admired and respected man — even if he’s still struggling today. Such is the attitude of a high-value man.  

Setting life goals and working towards them is vital to being a high-value man. A man of value has a clear vision, the right level of hunger, and the motivation to pursue his purpose. He has a mindset of continuous growth, come rain or shine. 

The good ol’ question remains relevant: Where do you see yourself in the next five, 10, or even 20 years? Who are you and who do you want to be? Who and/or what motivates you? Don’t have a clue? No probs! Just take an inward look into yourself, reach deep into your soul, and figure out these things for yourself. See the bigger picture and leverage time to your benefit — then take action. Don’t rush; it’s the journey that moulds men.  

Check out our article on how to find your purpose as a man. 

3. Leadership and inspiration  

What sort of men will you typically find in the upper echelons of power in organizations, government, or society generally? HIGH-VALUE MEN! And there’s a reason for that — their leadership skills.  

Leadership is a highly valued skill that cuts across both the family circle and the professional world. High-value men strive to become effective leaders by continuously improving their communication, decision-making and problem-solving skills — an attitude that sets them apart from the rest of the crowd. 

A high-value man’s leadership traits are so sparkling that they could lead a parade in Jupiter. At work, he makes executive positions look beginner. In his personal life, he’s the author of his own fate, turning tribulations into triumphs. In the face of adversity, he does not fold up. Instead, he shows tenacity, remaining strong and composed. For him, challenges are a stepping stone for growth. These qualities, no doubt, earn him the admiration of those around and shoots him onto enviable positions.  

Family and friends don’t only admire him; they will practically erect altars in his honour. At a family gathering, his speeches can be so moving that even the cat listens. His great sense of humour can turn chaos into calm, crisis into victory. His public address can rouse a nation. 

It’s important to note that a high-value man leads by example. His leadership is neither about power nor control; he preaches a gospel of “do as I do,” NOT “do as I say.” This exemplary leadership inspires and motivates those around him to be the best they can be. 

4. Integrity and reliability  

A high-value man is a man of substance. He has morals and always stands up for them, regardless of the situation or who is involved. He is honest and follows through with his words. His strong moral awareness directs his decisions and actions, encouraging fairness and ethical conducts. He is a man of principle and trust. 

This rare specimen of a man is as reliable as an AK-47 under muddy water. He is reliable in his character and straightforward in his communication, always delivering on promises and duties. He is an anchor for everyone around him. This principled lifestyle and consistent ways make this man loved and respected, while making those around him feel safe and inspired. Men like this make the world a better, safer place for everyone.

5. Discipline and accountability 

Most of us go through life, especially in our younger days, with a sense of entitlement. We feel things should come easy, or at least that we deserve better — and yes, one would not be entirely wrong to think this way. Everyone deserves better. We deserve a better body, that nice car, the luxury apartment, an expensive trip to the most exciting places, a smoking hot girlfriend, and the-list-goes-on.  

But. 

No one should expect anything handed to them on a platter. That sort of fallacious thinking, if not checked, can build resentment and entitlement. High-value men don’t think this way, and that’s why they are considered RESPONSIBLE (and are admired!) And ultimately, that’s why they get results. 

A high-value man takes responsibility for everything that happens in his life. He understands what he can control and what he cannot. He will often live by stoic codes. When things don’t go his way, he does not waste time worrying and blaming. Rather, he accepts responsibility, puts in the necessary work to get things right, and forges ahead. He is accountable. 

The qualities of discipline and accountability are especially important in business. A successful entrepreneur will usually not blame market circumstances, their staff, lack of resources, and so on. They accept responsibility for what’s not working right and solve it. That’s why they are leaders, and that’s why there are so few of them.  

As legendary basketball coach Pat Summit puts it, “Responsibility equals accountability, accountability equals ownership, and a sense of ownership is the most powerful thing a team or organization can have.” 

6. Independence and self-sufficiency  

A high-value man is an independent individual free from anyone’s control. He’s well-equipped and versatile enough to do what he needs to do, and so does not depend on others to go about his business. He doesn’t waste time worrying about his troubles; he is the answer.  

The sink is clogged or the tire is flat? This man wouldn’t wait too long (if at all) for the technician. He will roll up his sleeves and try see what’s possible. No money in the house? He isn’t going to ask free favours from anyone. He would go out there and do what needs to be done to save the day, as long as it is legit and honourable; he believes in the dignity of labour. What’s not to admire about this man? He embodies self-reliance, navigating through life with the calm confidence and grace of a duck paddling through water. Should he ever need help, though, he isn’t afraid to ask either. But that’s after he’s tried what’s possible first. 

In a relationship, the independent and self-sufficient man can be so complete in himself to the point where his partner might begin to feel insecure. And she would be right to feel this way. Imagine a scenario where a man can prepare all his own meals, handle all his domestic chores, take care of all his financial obligations, isn’t clingy for sex or affection, often needs/demands his own space, and has his life figured out and put together.  Think about that. Clearly, this defeats the dating ideology of couples complementing and completing each other, and can potentially make his woman feel useless. It is hard to control such a man. 

And speaking of self-sufficiency, by the way, this doesn’t always mean that he has it all. Rather, it means that he has high ethical standards for himself, is content with what he has and can live within his limits. Such is a self-aware and self-respecting man. And that makes him high-value.

7. Confidence and self-assurance

Confidence is belief in self, trusting in your own abilities. It is the feeling of self-assurance that comes from a place of being aware of and appreciating your own worth and strengths (as well as your weaknesses, even!) It’s not about being arrogant, having a bloated sense of self, or assuming yourself better than other people. Rather, it is about having a realistic and healthy mindset about yourself. This vital trait shapes how people view you and how you yourself handle the challenges of life. 

Of course, there are moments of doubt for all of us. But a high-value man handles things differently — he doesn’t let self-doubt linger for too long or become an issue. 

Embracing the authenticity of his own self and understanding the vulnerability of his unique situation, the ever proactive and courageous high-value man challenges his doubts head-on, staring his fears in the face, and tackling his hurdles. It is not that he is unafraid or unworried. Instead, he has learned to leverage the power of the mind. He understands that lack of confidence is a weakness and a recipe for failure; therefore, he does not give it room. He believes that he can always improve and succeed. This mindset shift flows outward from within, so that the high-value man exudes confidence. It is this courage and charm that earns him the respect and admiration of other people.  

Note that challenges are certain to happen. But how you handle them defines who you are and measures your mental mettle. Want to learn from the high-value man how to stand out with courage and motivation?  

Here are practical ways to build your confidence as a man.

8. Helpfulness and generosity  

A high-value man looks out for and adds value to the people around him, not just himself. He avails himself physically, emotionally, financially and otherwise to the needs of his friends, family and the society at large. He gives more than he receives.  

In his social circle, a high-value man makes significant contributions that earn him respect among his peers. This could be money sacrifices or some other inputs the drive that team forward. In his romantic relationships, he foots all bills and takes up all financial responsibilities, thus, earning (without demanding) the respect and admiration of his woman. Within the family unit, a high-value man caters for his wife and kids to the full extent of his capacity. He is a king in his home and would leave no stones unturned to provide and protect. He even extends this gesture to his extended family and his in-laws, especially in the African context. A high-value man’s influence and impact can also be felt by society. He makes well-meaning contributions, funding community projects and helping people around who need help.  

Bear in mind, though, that generosity and helpfulness don’t always have to involve finances. Money aside, one can also be generous with their time, resources, and knowledge to contribute to the betterment of others and the world at large. That’s giving value, and as such qualifies the benefactor as a high-value individual.

9. Knowledgeable  

A high-value man doesn’t necessarily have to be a genius, but he has to be intelligent. He is passionate and intentional about acquiring knowledge, so he allows himself access to creative exercises and explorations that expand his mind through books, media, travel, and experiences. This is the safety net he needs to navigate through the rigours and hurdles of life. 

Because he has diversified his knowledge base, dabbling in all sorts of creative, intellectual, emotional, spiritual and metaphorical intelligence, a high-value man is able to use his imagination effectively. He often has new ideas, interesting perspectives, and endless avenues to express himself. A well-informed man usually will have the confidence and capacity to provide answers and alternatives to problems. Now, that’s highly attractive.  

Bring on any topic, a high-value man has a thing or two to contribute to the discussion (he has invested in himself enough). But even if he doesn’t (nobody knows it all), he isn’t afraid to learn, and that’s part of what makes him so charming. You might be shocked when next such topic comes up again.  

A high-value man might not be the most learned, however. But his sharp mind and unique insights draw people to him. They want to listen to him and go to him for answers that work. You will usually see this particular quality in quiet, humble and honest men (thinkers!) in the society. While they may not have all the doctorate degrees and academic decorations out there, they are able to keep their own families together, train their kids to be responsible adults, solve big problems for their communities, and earn the respect of the society. It takes intelligence and wisdom to be able to achieve such. Can you think of a man like that?

10. Continuous self-improvement

A high-value man has a culture of personal growth and self-improvement. He raises himself to a high standard and will never be found tomorrow where he is today or was yesterday. He’s a motion machine perpetually fastened to the chain of progress. 

It’s not uncommon to find him spending hours meditating, consuming all the self-help books he can lay hands on. He could even go as far as rewriting them because his keen mind knows that some concepts need better insights or perspectives. 

As long as improvement is concerned, it’s not always just about him. Loathing mediocrity and loving excellence, the high-value man inspires and supports other people to undertake their own adventures of self-discovery and improvement.

Wrapping up 

Being a high-value man goes beyond financial or material success. It covers personal dignity, strength of character, and a positive impact on the lives of other people. A high-value man has strong moral character and sense of clear purpose, leadership attributes, respect for self and others, financial responsibility, strong survival skills, and a commitment to self-improvement. The list goes on.  

Being aware of these qualities can help us identify and treasure the high-value men in our lives. Can you think of anyone? 

Now that you know some of the qualities of a high-value man, how can you become one yourself? Find out in the next article: how to become a high-value man.